Two words that come to mind when I think of myself: introvert and over-thinker
I’ve never considered myself outgoing. As a child it took every ounce of my energy to spend the day conversing and interacting with peers and teachers at school. I would come home every day and take an hour nap just to recoup. My parents started wondering if I might be sick, when the truth is my social battery was completely drained at the end of the day. I’ve never been good at conversations, so many thoughts were constantly running through my mind, “what if I say something wrong, am I going to embarrass myself, what are they going to think of me?” These thoughts kept me quiet in a lot of situations which resulted in people thinking I was “mean or standoffish”. This didn’t stop me from living everyday life. I was still social and participated in school clubs and sports, but not without the constant overthinking everyday. I never felt like I really connected with anyone while I was in high school (except my lifelong friend, Savannah, love you always!). I interacted with my big group of friends, we would go to parties and hangout on the weekends but I always felt like that extra person that was just “there” and if I wasn’t there then no one would really notice or care. The type of person that gets the “oh yeah you can come if you want to!” last minute type of invite.
Daniel and I started dating when I was only 16 and it felt right. I would much rather sit and talk to him for hours about anything and everything, then go out and have a bunch of surface level conversations with people that turned out to never even have liked me in the first place. Turning to him caused a lot of those fake friendships to completely unravel and back then it really got to me and I had a hard time accepting the end of that era, but at the same time I’ve never been more thankful for something to officially end. Fast forward 11 years and so much has changed. I am an entirely different person and I feel like I’ve really come into who I was always meant to be.
Being a wife, mother, and homemaker is something that I’ve always felt so confident in. It’s what I’ve wanted to be as long as I can remember. So when it felt right I just ran with it. And that’s the thing now that I’m confident in myself, I know who I am and how I want to live my life. I don’t look for reassurance or acceptance from anyone else like I did in the past. I am still 100% an introvert and ever so slightly awkward but that’s just me and I’m totally okay with it.
I’ve been making a point this past year to push myself way outside of my comfort zone, and that all started with selling our big beautiful house and traveling in a tiny RV for 5 months. Since then I’ve continued to push myself. I’ve been laying it all out here on my blog, something that is totally foreign to me. I’m usually a pretty private person but here I am sharing my birth story and lows of motherhood with the entire internet! Same thing goes with Instagram, I’m trying to be more raw and real and hopefully soon I’ll actually start speaking in front of my camera again (hello “stage” fright). I’ve also been putting myself out there when it comes to making friendships and connections in the real world. I recently started a local playgroup and it’s been so nice making connections with local moms. I also went out on a little wine bar date with a friend a few weeks ago without the kids, something I’ve seriously never done before! I’ve been connecting with local business and brands and have so many fun and exciting things in the making that I can’t wait to share with you all in the next few months. I also have a fun giveaway coming up in the next few weeks you won’t want to miss out on so be sure to subscribe!
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